Real Adventure

I recently came across Yvon Chouinard`s (founder of Patagonia) basic philosophy of life, in his book, Let My People Go Surfing:

The basic tenets of that philosophy are: a deep appreciation for the environment and a strong motivation to help solve the environmental crisis; a passionate love for the natural world; a healthy skepticism toward authority; a love for difficult, human-powered sports that require practice and mastery; a disdain for motorized sports like snowmobiling or jet skiing; a bias for whacko, often self-deprecating humour; a respect for real adventure (defined best as a journey from which you may not come back alive — and certainly not as the same person); a taste for real adventure; and a belief that less is more (in design and consumption). Pg. 150

I found that many aspects of his philosophy describe my own. Considering that, it was hard to swallow his definition of `real adventure.` Go ahead – go back and read it.

I find this particularly sobering on a day when the climbing world lost one of its best mountaineers, Tomaz Humar. Living in The Rockies, I rub shoulders with some of these guys (and gals) that seem to be lucky to be alive. Every year at the Banff Mountain Film Festival I somewhat rudely joke with my own climbing partners that some of the climbers featured at the festival may not be back next year. But, it`s completely true, and these people would admit it.

The route up Grassi Ridge follows the left sky line

I thought I had a sense of adventure, but compared to these climbers, I may as well be hiking through a mall. Perhaps then, adventure is relative to the adventurer. My first stab at multi-pitch trad climbs this past summer was an awakening for me. There is nothing that compared to the level of focus and the mental battle I had going on some of those days, particularly on Grassi Ridge, a route up Wiwaxy Peak in Yoho National Park. Hanging a few hundred feet off the ground, I fully realized the dangers of what I was doing, and yet I needed, for self-preservation`s sake, to ignore them.

Though I try to tune out these dangers, my awareness of them also comes indirectly through my precautions against them. I tie the rope in a figure-eight knot and double it back, I grip the rope a certain way when I`m belaying, I put my protection in the rock on a certain angle, and I equalize my anchors. Each precaution represents an inherent danger to climbing – otherwise, we wouldn`t do these things in the first place.

Yet, there is so much we cannot control, and this is why I believe Yvon Chouinard defines `real adventure` as a journey from which we may not return.

Some, like me, pursue increased risk and adrenaline in adventure – and this is arguably `real adventure.`Furthermore, there are those who reduce even their precautions (climbing without a rope, being a prime example), and we may call this `pure (and perhaps stupid) adventure.` There is a good chance they will not come back alive.

Still, adventure, even at its most basic level, can be found in many places and situations. Some find adventure in a new job or starting a family. For many it is a matter of time and place. Something that wasn`t adventurous before becomes adventurous in the future. My great aunt and uncle even made an adventure of going to the hospital when their health turned for the worst, just to make it more fun for eachother. Likewise, as I get older, my threshold for adventure may weaken.

I turn back, then, to the end of Chouinard`s definition of `real adventure.` He defines it also as a journey from which you may not come back as the same person.

And this is 100% true of all adventure.

© Meghan J. Ward, 2009.

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Further reading (that I`d like to do, too):

Maria Coffey, Explorers of the Infinite and Where the Mountain Casts Its Shadow

Steve House, Beyond the Mountain

Eat. Pray. Love. Read.

Last week I finished the book Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert. I am often quite skeptical of #1 Bestsellers, but this bestseller was absolutely deserving of that endorsement. Gilbert is a clever writer, transparent and honest, funny, insightful, and totally loveable. She has managed to do what I feel is the greatest stretch for me both as a writer and as a human being – clearly document the journey of the soul in a relatable and comprehensible way.

Perhaps it is just the place I am at in my life right now that made me feel that I was not only living vicariously through Gilbert, but that I so entirely understood what she was feeling at times that the book  may as well have been about me. Of course I cannot relate to certain aspects of her life, for example most of the things that led to her year in Italy, India and Indonesia. But there were some moments of real comfort, clarity, and assurance that came to me from that book in a way that was unlike any reading experience I have ever had.

I am saying these things to add my own endorsement for this book, but I say it with a sense of hesitancy. My experience reading this book made me feel like I was living in a parallel world to the author’s – it was so moving that I was very sad when it was over. I have never before felt like re-reading a book right after I finished the last page until this one. So, I send my endorsement with hesitancy because I don’t want people to get their hopes up. The book is entertaining and funny and generally interesting for most readers, but I know it was very special for me because of how it seemed to be scripted particularly with me in mind.

I must admit I also got quite the travel bug while I was reading. By no means is the town of Banff lacking in beauty or excitement. And it seems the world comes to you when you live in a tourist town. But, to experience the world in the way that Gilbert did – not as a tourist, but as a quasi-local – and to immerse oneself totally in the search for balance between pleasure and devotion, is something that makes my heart beat fast with excitement and passion just thinking about it. I am thankful to realize that one does not have to travel abroad to embark on that quest. I can do it right here, right now. And recently, I have realized that something in my life really had to change before I was even ready to commit myself to finding a more balanced life.

I am impressed with Gilbert’s ability to peel away the layers and see the truth beneath each of her experiences. And perhaps her incredible ability as a storyteller has led to some, well, stories throughout the book. Perhaps not even she can know if all of it is entirely true anymore. But isn’t that the truth of all of our experiences? Each day becomes a story, a summary, a metaphor. And Eat Pray Love is a story that is worth reading again and again.

© Meghan J. Ward, 2008

Silencing the Peanut

When neuroanatomist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor had a stroke back in 1996, one might have called it an oxymoron. For her though, it was an incredible opportunity as a brain scientist to witness first-hand how it feels when the left hemisphere of the brain is inhibited by a haemorrhage. In remaining conscious throughout the stroke, Dr. Taylor, then 37 years-old, was able to act as an external witness to herself, and in addition to that, to the workings of the right hemisphere of her brain as they remained unaffected. This gave her a fascinating Stroke of Insight, which is also the name of her book (My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey).

Though I am as far away from understanding the brain as I am from Japan, it can be enlightening to know how each hemisphere of the brain operates. In the simplest of terms, the left hemisphere is responsible for communication, the control of the speaking apparatus, language, and most pertinent to me, the voice in the head, which is the ego. The left hemisphere states the “I am” of our identity. It is concerned with the finer details, and making connections between letters, words, phrases, thoughts, and circumstances. It is the storyteller that can retell stories from the past, and even tell us stories about the future. As Dr. Taylor says, the left-brain associates current information with everything we have learned in the past, and projects future possibilities. The right brain is responsible for giving us context and understanding, and provides analysis for what we are absorbing from the external world. It is “right here, right now” – all about the present moment. Together the two hemispheres balance to give us both thought and comprehension, as well as the translation of those elements into language and forms of communication.

The right hemisphere is also where our sense of peace resides, as Dr. Taylor can attest when she was no longer influenced by the left and was able to experience a silent mind. Unable to speak or understand language, comprehend and execute simple tasks, or recognize aspects of her former life, this Harvard-trained brain scientist was reduced to an “infant in a woman’s body,” to put it into her own terms. Feeling sorry for herself was a mechanism she could not even muster up if she tried, nor could she feel embarrassed, because these reactions resided in her now dormant left hemisphere. In the midst of all this, she says she found Nirvana, which led her to believe that all people could go to a place of peace if they could only stop listening to the constant chattering and voices of the left hemisphere of the brain.

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor was first inspired to study the brain when her brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia. She was inspired to recover from the stroke, which took about eight years, because she realized that her insights could better humanity, and raise awareness for people who are seen as ‘disabled.’ While she was recovering, though her thoughts could in no way be translated to those around her, Dr. Taylor’s experience with the people treating and caring for her offered her perspective on how ‘disabled’ people are treated. “I’m still in here,” she says on behalf of the people who cannot communicate this for themselves. Inside a body which might not function like the rest of us lies a mind and a person that see us and observe us more clearly than we think.

Interestingly, Dr. Taylor points out that our current formal educational system is geared to develop primarily the left hemisphere, and reward it when it performs correctly. We are focussed on the facts, grammar, multiple choice questions, numbers, and terminology, which are all important things to learn, however when the ‘big picture’ is left out, we are lacking in true context and understanding. We know how, but we don’t know why, or for what purpose. We get lost in the facts, in crunching out the numbers, and in showing up to countless meetings (details, details, details!) that it becomes nearly impossible to know when our brain is chattering nonsense, and when information is absolutely pertinent. We are ruled by our schedules, and drive our children from ballet to soccer and then to an hour of math tutoring, all the while telling our own story through their lives and the expectations we place on them. Even our moments of relative external quiet are bombarded by that voice in our head coaxing us into unrest: “Shouldn’t you be doing something right now?,” “When was the last time you called your mother?” We relive conversations from the day, or from last week, and resurrect the emotions that came with our original experiences.

Our right hemispheres are left for a nice long nap until we realize that simply pursuing the workings of the left hemisphere does not satisfy. Why?

It comes down to Dr. Taylor’s insight as a brain scientist that we can actually give our brain’s something to think about. We can choose when to listen to that collection of cells in the left hemisphere of the brain that she says is about the size of a peanut. How often do you let that peanut rule your life?

When your brain is giving you something to think about that you don’t want to think about, you can simply choose to think about something else. Many of us would deny this because we think we are the sum of our thoughts, and therefore to stop listening to our thoughts is impossible because they are who we are. But, Dr. Taylor says that we can use our own anatomy to our advantage. That peanut is a tool that you can use – it can communicate beautifully and can help you converse with the world around you – but the price we pay for that peanut is the ego, or that relentless voice in our head that keeps us from enjoying the present moment.

Good teachers will find creative ways of incorporating these things into their lessons. But based on my understanding of the curriculum dictated by school boards, there simply isn’t time for it even if the desire is there. In that way, I think that the duty is left to the guardians, parents and mentors of our young. I am thankful for my parents who introduced me to the nurturing of the right hemisphere from a young age. They are deeply spiritual people, and instilled that sense of ‘context’ for my life and the bigger picture. That picture looks quite different now. God, for example, is no longer an old man with a long white beard sitting in a cloud, but a label-free Entity. However, the notion of having a ‘background’ to my life as I know it was taught from a very young age. Furthermore, and probably unbeknownst to them, they supported me as I pursued passions that would cultivate the sense of creativity I have about interpreting the world around me (mainly through writing, theatre studies, adventure, and travelling).

When I have the opportunity to be a mother, one of my goals will be to introduce my children to the appreciation of the right brain – that part of you that isn’t concerned with the fine details, that doesn’t speak to you erroneously, and where that sense of peace and rest resides. Inevitably, that peace will flow out into the lives of those around us. Imagine our children free from the unnecessary expectations to perform the tasks dictated by that peanut! Imagine your pain-body freed when you realize that you can begin that now, even if you were not raised to understand that you could! As Dr. Taylor says, “imagine losing 37 years of emotional baggage.”

All it takes is a step to the right of your left hemisphere.

To learn more about Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, please go to:

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s official website

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor on TED (Technology, Entertainment Design): Ideas Worth Spreading

Oprah’s Soul Series – (you’ll have to become a member of Oprah.com).

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor on NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness

© Meghan J. Ward, 2008

A World of Difference

For the past few days I have had plenty of time to write, but I have also been struck with a disappointing case of writer’s block. My posts the last few months have primarily focused on A New Earth, and I have been eager to tap into the other parts of my life and type out some fresh material. I have feared coming across as repetitive and boring. I hear my readers crying, “can’t you write about something else!” But, I realize this is my mind speaking. This is my ego. It is telling me that unless I can come up with something new, exciting and provocative, my writing is worthless.

But perhaps this lack of new ideas is not a lack of new ideas at all. Perhaps it is only symptomatic of the way I view my life right now. My thoughts are interpreted the same way time and time again, and all of a sudden I see everything that happens, every conversation, every reaction through the same lens. At times I have tried to put a label on this way of thinking, which is something I realize that humans tend to do in their effort to make sense of things. Everything has to fit nicely into a box, a category, a list, a leaning…an ‘ism.’ So, the worst thing I could do is to try to give this new consciousness a label, lest I reduce it down to what can fit inside the human mind.

Furthermore, this ‘lens’ is not the result of only one teaching, but the accumulation of lessons, conversations, spiritual mentors, reading, and reflecting from many years. Now, it is simply a matter of observing. I don’t need a book or literary examples. All I have to do is open my eyes and I can see it played out, clear as day, in the people around me and in myself.

If what I am writing here does not make sense to you, I encourage you to read my Writings on A New Earth – the ten entries I made as reflections to each chapter in Eckhart Tolle’s book. The best thing to do would be to read the book for yourself. What I am explaining here, though, is a shift of consciousness and a shift in the way I view the world and the way people interact with one another, including the multiple voices inside each of our heads.

So, I have come to write something new, and all I can think about is how this new form of awareness has been manifested in my life experience. Some examples?

-I can identify much more clearly now what comprises the pain-body of a person and how this affects the way they react to others, how they identify themselves, what habits they form, and what the voice in their heads must be saying.

-I understand the following statement: “Take responsibility for the energy you are bringing to others.”

-I see now how much time people waste worrying, resenting, planning, and anticipating.

-I recognize that I am not the sum of my thoughts, nor the thoughts others have about me.

-Any negative energy I harbour or exert becomes a part of the collective negative energy of all humankind. The same goes for positive energy.

Now it is a matter of going beyond ‘awareness,’ or the acknowledgement of these things, and making an effort to stop myself from falling into the same traps. For some people reading all this, it may sound ‘New Age,’ but as a friend pointed out to me it is simply ‘New Old Age.’ It is ancient wisdom expressed in modern, palatable, and comprehensive terms. Like all things, it will not ring true or resonate with all people. Nonetheless, it has made a world of difference in my life.

© Meghan J. Ward, 2008