A World of Difference

For the past few days I have had plenty of time to write, but I have also been struck with a disappointing case of writer’s block. My posts the last few months have primarily focused on A New Earth, and I have been eager to tap into the other parts of my life and type out some fresh material. I have feared coming across as repetitive and boring. I hear my readers crying, “can’t you write about something else!” But, I realize this is my mind speaking. This is my ego. It is telling me that unless I can come up with something new, exciting and provocative, my writing is worthless.

But perhaps this lack of new ideas is not a lack of new ideas at all. Perhaps it is only symptomatic of the way I view my life right now. My thoughts are interpreted the same way time and time again, and all of a sudden I see everything that happens, every conversation, every reaction through the same lens. At times I have tried to put a label on this way of thinking, which is something I realize that humans tend to do in their effort to make sense of things. Everything has to fit nicely into a box, a category, a list, a leaning…an ‘ism.’ So, the worst thing I could do is to try to give this new consciousness a label, lest I reduce it down to what can fit inside the human mind.

Furthermore, this ‘lens’ is not the result of only one teaching, but the accumulation of lessons, conversations, spiritual mentors, reading, and reflecting from many years. Now, it is simply a matter of observing. I don’t need a book or literary examples. All I have to do is open my eyes and I can see it played out, clear as day, in the people around me and in myself.

If what I am writing here does not make sense to you, I encourage you to read my Writings on A New Earth – the ten entries I made as reflections to each chapter in Eckhart Tolle’s book. The best thing to do would be to read the book for yourself. What I am explaining here, though, is a shift of consciousness and a shift in the way I view the world and the way people interact with one another, including the multiple voices inside each of our heads.

So, I have come to write something new, and all I can think about is how this new form of awareness has been manifested in my life experience. Some examples?

-I can identify much more clearly now what comprises the pain-body of a person and how this affects the way they react to others, how they identify themselves, what habits they form, and what the voice in their heads must be saying.

-I understand the following statement: “Take responsibility for the energy you are bringing to others.”

-I see now how much time people waste worrying, resenting, planning, and anticipating.

-I recognize that I am not the sum of my thoughts, nor the thoughts others have about me.

-Any negative energy I harbour or exert becomes a part of the collective negative energy of all humankind. The same goes for positive energy.

Now it is a matter of going beyond ‘awareness,’ or the acknowledgement of these things, and making an effort to stop myself from falling into the same traps. For some people reading all this, it may sound ‘New Age,’ but as a friend pointed out to me it is simply ‘New Old Age.’ It is ancient wisdom expressed in modern, palatable, and comprehensive terms. Like all things, it will not ring true or resonate with all people. Nonetheless, it has made a world of difference in my life.

© Meghan J. Ward, 2008

Finding Hope in Wholeness

Wholeness – complete, including all parts of aspects, with nothing left out

I suppose I have set myself up for the difficult task of concluding this written series on A New Earth, having offered a reflection on the previous nine chapters. Attempting to summarize what I have learned through this book and what has stuck with me, may be as difficult as explaining quantum physics to a five-year old, let alone me. Add onto this the noise of the construction work that is currently going on above my head – the grinding, scraping, banging, and loud stomping – and the task seems all the more daunting. Talk about finding the stillness!

My Mind is trying to wrap herself around the ideas presented in this last chapter. She is seeking to make meaning, to connect the dots, and to translate the lessons into neat, attainable goals. But, if I have learned anything with these ten chapters, it is that the lessons cannot be understood, they must be experienced.

And experience has not shied away from showing me her pretty face time and time again the past few weeks. In the past few weeks I have faced unconscious and difficult people. I have been able to identify when my ego was turning to its self-defense, preserve-my-image-at-all-costs mode. I have waited – and waited- for something to happen to give me a sense of progress. I have dealt with enormous change and extremely unfamiliar circumstances that at times have made me want to sit in a corner and suck my thumb. I have come up against views of this world so different from my own that I have pinched myself in disbelief. Experience has proved once again that these things are to be expected in life.

I chose wholeness as my theme for this entry, because it is the only word that I find to be most the fitting, and the only word that captivates the sense of hope that enlightenment has brought me. I suppose there is two parts to it: the wholeness of the universe, and the wholeness of ourselves.

The first I will only touch on briefly. For the last nine lessons, we have been learning about how to fit into the whole of this world. What is my place in the whole? We have answered this question from a variety of vantage points and, of course, realized it is much easier to talk about than to do. The second part – the wholeness of ourselves – brings us hope amidst the challenges presented by the task set before us in the previous nine chapters.

Your ego, or that voice inside your head, will always see you as a fragment, and makes every effort to remind you of it. You will always be incomplete, always lacking, it says. But the reality is that wholeness is neither unattainable, nor something we can become – it is already within us. For some, that wholeness cannot be completed without a saviour and a divine influence. For others, that divine influence is their own consciousness. However you view it, realize that these two viewpoints essentially lead us to the same conclusion. If God didn’t see the potential in us (that wholeness beneath the surface), his offering of grace would make little sense. Likewise, for those whose consciousness plays that same role, if that wholeness was not within us, any amount of awareness could not free us from our egoic nature.

Many times we have heard people telling us, “live your life to the fullest!” To this I say ‘yes!’ but at the same time, I believe that it cannot happen without God/Conciousness. Tolle says that wholeness can be achieved through ‘awakened doing,’ which is also the alignment between our inner and outer purpose, which I discussed last week. There are three different ways in which this can happen – through acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm. If none of these modalities are operating, you will be creating suffering for either yourself or others. I’ll leave you to read the book, and find the definitions of these three modalities. The point is that wholeness comes with our attitudes towards our circumstances. We will be left as fragments if we offer resistance. Consider the way water flows down a mountainside. It takes the path of least resistance, and in the process smoothes out the boundaries and obstacles in its way.

In conclusion, being that presence in the lives of others gives us both our place in the whole, and wholeness within ourselves. In turn, others may find wholeness in themselves. Imagine a world where everyone felt whole. Imagine a world free from fragmentation between people, between ethnic and religious groups, and within ourselves. When we think little of ourselves and others, we accomplish little. Imagine what we could accomplish with wholeness.

“I am a (w)hole in the flute that Christ’s breath moves through. Listen to the music.” (14th Century Persian poet and Sufi master, Hafiz)

These words are inspired by Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose (Oprah’s Book Club, Selection 61).

© Meghan J. Ward, 2008

Stinking Up the Fridge

Purpose – the reason for which something exists or for which it has been done or made

Evolution – the gradual development of something into a more complex or better form

In Through Painted Deserts, Donald Miller remarks that if we don’t change, if we don’t evolve, we expire.  

Foods have expiry dates that are often quite premature. We tend to be paranoid about expiration when it comes to food. We don’t want to eat something bad, moldy, or stale. Nightmares of sickness swirl in our heads when we see a date long passed on a cereal box or a carton of milk. And yet, when it comes to ourselves, while we each come with an expiry date – our time of death – so often we give ourselves an early expiration. There are many literal ways that this is played out in this world, but for most of us, it is a metaphor. Simply stated, we can become stale. In life, we can embody a state of expiration.

Many times, I have heard people (myself included) say one of the following phrases: “I’m not going anywhere in life.” “I don’t know what I am meant to do.” “My life is over.” “I don’t know if this is the right path.” The list goes on. Do any of these phrases resonate with you?

The moment we verbalize these things, we allow ourselves to assume that our purpose has expired. We are no longer productive members of society. We aren’t employable. We don’t have anything to give, no special talents, nothing unique. We are moldy bread sitting on the pantry shelf.

It is in these moments, and all moments, that we need to remember that our outer purpose – what we do - is entirely dependent on our inner purpose, and a purpose that we share with all of mankind, which is saying ‘yes’ to what the Now has to offer. If we could find fulfillment in something within us, and not something on the exterior, our expiration date would come at its natural and divine time. As soon as we are reaching beyond ourselves for a sense of purpose, whether it be to other people, material goods, wealth, status, or labels, we will find ourselves dealing with expiration date after expiration date, because as we discussed last week, everything eventually comes to an end. This too shall pass.

Accepting change, and allowing ourselves to evolve, is important to avoiding early expiration. Another important practise is to make choices based on their evolutionary potential. Ask yourself if your job, your relationships, your lifestyle, your interests, and your choices are helping you to evolve. Are they for your betterment, or are they keeping you stagnant?

Life is much more of an adventure when we become friendly with the unknown. You can live it that way, or stink up the fridge.

These words are inspired by Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose (Oprah’s Book Club, Selection 61)

© Meghan J. Ward, 2008

This Too Shall Pass

Fear - an unpleasant feeling of anxiety or apprehension caused by the presence or anticipation of danger

Have you ever noticed that when everything seems to be going well in life we tend to – or try to – hold on to it? We act like toddlers clinging onto the parental leg, holding tightly to our circumstances, our loved ones, and our moments of incredible happiness. We fear for the moment they walk out that door, and anticipate the abandonment with dread and anxiety. Whatever will we do when these moments or sources of happiness, success, and fulfillment have moved on???

Likewise, have you ever noticed that when our circumstances are less than desirable, we are the ones that are ready to move on?

While this might sound a bit cynical, if we lived our lives in full recognition that everything will come to an end, perhaps we would neither cling nor complain. Acknowledging the transient nature of our life experience might make each experience all the more rich, unusually magical, and fulfilling in itself. Ironically, the moment one goal is fulfilled or things are going the way we want them to, another aspect of our lives seems to slip into disrepair. So, how do we handle these tumultuous forces?

Over the course of history, a variety of legends have originated a piece of wisdom catered specifically to the ephemeral qualities of life. Though short and simple in nature, this phrase is by no means insignificant. When noble leaders of the past asked their wisemen and sages for the greatest source of wisdom and knowledge in all the world, they brought forth the following inscription: This Too Shall Pass.

Becoming comfortable with the idea of change both humbles us and prepares us for the realities of our existence. Remembering every moment will (not may!) come to an end will make us all the more appreciative and accepting of our circumstances. No experience in life is insignificant and each one holds its own purpose. But if we cling, we risk the chance of souring something good. And if we walk away, we lose the opportunity to turn sour moments into memories of the sweetest kind. 

These words are inspired by A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose (Oprah’s Book Club, Selection 61).

© Meghan J. Ward, 2008